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Can trauma be inherited?
4th September 2016
Protected: Reiki 1st Degree (Usui Shiki Ryotto system) 2016
4th October 2016

Primal Deconditioning Process is the strongest retreat I have ever participated in until now. Or at least, it is the one tying all the previous retreats together. And it has become my advisor in my daily life. I feel very good. Day by day, happier, calmer.”

ABSOLUTION
LIGHT
BEGINNING

By Jashan Antoniou,

4th of June 2016. In the garden of Serendipity Institute.
The path is clear. Paved.
Why are you going through the rocks?
There are thorns, splinters and sharp edges.
Slippery where water’s gathered.
Who sent you there?
And you, why did you listen to them child?

The path is clear. Paved.
Its soil riddled.
Flowers planted on each side.
White pebbles shine at night – if night catches you.
Even these,
In their place to help.
Placed one by one.
In order.
For you. For me. For us.

Who told you to go through the rocks?
And you?
What made you listen to that fool?

How many generations of scary
and weak people
climbed on your back?
Blind people. Who never ever saw
the path?

They told them – they told you
“Go through there”
and you did.
Your feet are bleeding.
Your arms heavy.
Of all those you carry.
And your soul? Troubled.
Clamor and commotion and turbulence.
And everything? Blurry.
Because, only in your heart, you know.

You remember with a timeless memory,
That it was somewhat different the light or your sight that day.
You remember.
You remember What was forgotten.
And somewhere deep inside, you pray. To find it again.
Let go child of all those you carry.
There at the shore.
A little further away from the rocks.
Let them go one by one.
Let them go in the water.
But first look at them well.
WELL.
Know them first.
Know them one by one.
Understand them.
Let them go now.
They are not yours.
And if something clings on you, -push it away.
Get rid of it, push it, throw it away.
There where it belongs, there it shall return.
This neither is reality.
Let it go.
You will be redeemed.
Both you and that.
Relieved now, SEE where you stand.
The rocks turned into rose petals.
And the splinters and the thorns into pebbles.
The slides are refreshing springs now.
For the first time, you smell the breeze.
You listen to the noises around you.
You don’t think.
You recognize parts of your body.
You enjoy. A newfound freedom.
A strength. That you always had and felt. – Hidden most of the times, it’s true.
You smile.

The path is clear. Paved.
Its soil riddled.
Flowers planted on each side.
White pebbles shine at night – if night catches you.
Even these,
In their place to help.
Placed one by one.
In order.
For you. For me. For us.

You took the first step.
You’re surprised.
What you feared it would be difficult, is difficult.
Cause it’s so easy. So simple.
Alas! No one EVER told you.

You took the second step.
You smile.
You still glance over to all those generations you left on the shore a while ago. To go away.

Fluid they become.
Familiar still.
But they slip away. Like shadows. On the horizon.

You surrender.
To the feeling of your feet.
Your feet on the ground.
You feel it.
You feel the earth under your feet.
By your two feet, your weight is supported. It is supported whole.
You are supported.
By yourself and by earth.

Crack.
A generation broke.
Crack. Crack. Crack.
Some more, before they slip into the water,
They break into small trivial pieces.

Father, Mother, I hated you, but I loved you at the same time.
I saw into your eyes little children, carrying piles of generations on your back.
Everything you wanted to pass down to me.

Crack. Crack.
I see you as little children. Startled sitting on the shore.
Small flames. Embarrassed.

Crack – crack.
Little children behind you.
One by one, generation by generation,
They put down their piles.

The sea is filled with weightless things.
Like soap bubbles. Like foam.
Puff. Puff. And crack. And they go away.
Travelling softly back in time. Like they never existed.

It was not a lie.
You were carrying them.
Generations heavy piles on your back.
There might be more.
Hidden well. In your pockets. In your seams.

But now you know, you’ve seen, you’ve learned.

Ignorant you are no more.

Slow. Don’t rush.
Slow.
Take the time that you need. Have your feet firm on the ground.
And listen carefully. Observe. Wait.
Wait for a little while. Stay for a little while. Let go. And feel only what you are.
The path will be clear.
Paved.
Its soil riddled.
Flowers planted on each side
And its white pebbles will shine for you at night. If needed.

Take your time and walk this path.
Now you’ve seen.
Now you know.

 

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